Release
by aoi kodomo
Summary: A few months have passed since Tohru’s death. As she watches from an unknown location, she prays her friends will find peace without her. Oneshot.


**Based on the story: **_Fruits Basket_

**Written by:** aoi kodomo

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**IMPORTANT NOTE:** **This is a re-submit. For personal reasons I had to change my user name, as I was constantly getting confused with anothe**r. **This story has not be stolen or changed in any way. I am merely re-posting it. Thank you.**

**Summary:** A few months have passed since Tohru's death. As she watches from an unknown location, she prays her friends will find peace without her.

**Author's note:** I do not own any of the characters in this fic. Any connections to real life event are purely coincidence and come from my own imagination.

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**Release**

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_My name is Tohru Honda. I died on 14th January at 7.06 pm._

_I'm not sure where I am, or how much time has passed. All I know is that I haven't seen my mom or dad since I've been here. I can see my friends, but each time I try to get close to them, they move further away._

_Everyone is taking my death pretty hard, especially those in the Sohma family. But why wouldn't they? Grieve is not something to be taken lightly. I have learned long ago that the pain of losing someone never goes away._

_It will haunt you forever._

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Yuki looked out over the lake, taking in its beauty. A fish flickered briefly near the surface, its scales glinting in the sunlight, before swimming down to its safe, deep home. He wished he could have that freedom.

He had not been the same since Tohru's death. No one in the Sohma family had. A change in the atmosphere had stirred. Emotions had shifted, words had been shortened, and hearts had been broken.

His heart – his spirit – had been shattered. Tohru was his friend and more, but cruel fate had taken her away. She had given so much. Her soul had been snatched away by the hands of God, and he wasn't going to give her back.

"Yuki, dinner's ready."

Yuki turned slightly, his body too heavy to cooperate. "Shigure. Why are you doing this?"

Shigure moved away from the lake house to stand by his cousin. "Doing what?"

"Trying to make me feel better."

A faint smile touched Shigure's lips. "I'm trying to feed you."

"I ate last night."

"Yuki … that was ages ago."

"I'm not hungry."

"Yuki –"

"I said I'm not hungry!" Yuki hissed, his voice full of hidden pain. He moved away from the other Sohma, walking down the sandy path that lead to the lake.

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_My heart breaks to see Yuki like this. So lost, so completely alone. If only he would look to Shigure for guidance, to help him overcome this pain. But I know that is too much to hope for. I see him crying in his room at night. He feels that this is his fault._

_If only … if only I could talk to him. Why can't I talk to him? I know the spirit of a ghost cannot communicate with humans. But am I a ghost? Could I be a lost spirit? I don't know anything anymore._

_What am I?_

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"Tohru."

The name left Kyo's mouth in a whisper, dragged away in the breeze that skittered over the lake.

She loved the lake. Kyo lowered his chin to his knees, watching the sun slowly dip beyond the hills. He felt his worries go with it, until tomorrow brought a new day, and the fiery pain rekindled in his heart.

Life had been unfair to Tohru, so painfully unfair. She had lost her father, her mother, and now, she was lost herself. Taken away from this world so effortlessly. In her last moments of life did she not think of this? How cruel the cards had been dealt for her? How unfair life could be? He here was, cursed forever, and Tohru …

Where was she now? Was she safe? Did her spirit still live on? Kyo could only hope she was out of harm's way, reunited with her mom and dad.

A rustling noise caused him to look up. Yuki emerged from behind him, his footsteps sluggish. He saw Kyo but moved pass him to stand before the lake. The violet-eyed boy briefly glanced in his direction, but neither of them spoke.

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_Say something Kyo. Talk to him._

_I can see Kyo and Yuki clearly, though each night it becomes harder and harder to reach them. I know my spirit belongs somewhere else._

_Time is running short._

_I am standing behind Kyo. I long to touch him, to let him know I'm here, but every time I reach out my hand an invisible force stops me. I do not believe this force is intentional. I should not be allowed to touch Kyo. I could not bear for him to become confused, feeling that I am here and yet I am not._

_My soul wish is that Yuki and Kyo confide in each other. These past months they have barely exchanged a word. The times in which they fought with each other are gone. That hurts me more than I thought. They both feel they share the blame in my death, but they cannot control the hands of fate._

_I was taken from this world for a reason, and although I feel it was too soon, I cannot question what fate has in store for me. But I do know one thing._

_I will not leave until Yuki and Kyo overcome their guilt._

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"I never realised … how beautiful it is."

Kyo lifted his head slightly. "What are you talking about?"

Yuki sighed. "The lake."

Kyo shook his head. "It's water. How can you think of water after what's happened?"

Yuki turned sharply, locking his gaze with Kyo's. "I wasn't necessarily thinking of water. I was thinking a little deeper than that."

"Then go drown yourself in the lake."

Yuki's muscles tensed, but he forced them to relax. He could not take his anguish out on Kyo. The cat was suffering just as much as he was. Fighting would not compensate for the loss he had endured. It would not bring Tohru back.

"Kyo … do you … think she's watching us?"

Kyo looked at the purple-haired rat as though he was a speck of dirt. "How can she watch us? She's dead, you brainless rat!"

Despite his sharp comeback, Yuki didn't flinch. "I saw her. Last night. It felt so real." He turned back towards the lake. "I saw her …"

Kyo didn't say anything. Yuki had finally flipped his lid. In all his grief, the rat had lost his mind. He pulled a strand of grass from the ground and began splitting it in two, casting his thoughts away from Yuki, away from the lake.

Why had Shigure bought them here anyway? Did he think moving them away from society would help them cope? Nothing he did would change the fact that they had lost Tohru. But he knew Shigure did it out of the best intentions. The writer himself had had a hard time. He was the one to help with the funeral arrangements. He even wrote a poem in Tohru's name, and although Kyo never took interest in Shigure's work, the poem matched her personality beautifully.

Something brushed Kyo's back. He shot up suddenly, like he'd been electrocuted, and stumbled straight into Yuki.

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_I did it!_

_Ohmygod … I touched him! I touched Kyo!_

_How did I do that? It felt like pins and needles. Oh … but I can't touch him again. He jumped up so quickly. I think it terrified him. But maybe now he'll believe what Yuki told him._

_I did see Yuki last night. I visit each of the Sohmas every night. I was so sure Yuki couldn't see me, and even he doubts it. Now I know there's hope. If only I can get Kyo to see me … but I can't do that if he doesn't believe I exist anymore. Please Kyo, listen to Yuki. Talk to one another. Help one another._

_I cannot leave until you do._

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Yuki hit the ground unexpectedly, the weight of Kyo's body pinning him down.

"What's the matter with you?" He pushed Kyo off him forcefully.

"Don't push me!" Kyo punched the other boy back, his fist connecting painfully with Yuki's shoulder blade.

"Don't touch me!" Yuki spun around, kicking Kyo in the stomach.

The orange-haired cat staggered backwards, the wind momentarily knocked out of him. He breathed in once … twice … three times. When he looked up, Yuki had moved back towards the lake, as though nothing had happened.

"This …" Kyo swallowed. "This is all your fault."

He saw Yuki's shoulders tense. "Oh … and why is that? As I recall you were the one who fell into me."

"That's not what I'm talking about and you know it!" Kyo moved forward, grabbing Yuki tightly by the arm. "It's all your fault! You were supposed to walk her home! You were _supposed_ to protect her! Why didn't you _do_ that?"

He expected Yuki to hit him, but instead the rat just remained still. Kyo shook him roughly. "Answer me, rat!"

Yuki's body began to shake. "You're right …"

Kyo frowned. "What?"

"I said you're right. I was supposed to walk her home. But she insisted. I didn't … I didn't object. She said she'd be fine. How was I supposed to know? She told me … she'd be fine …"

Kyo let go of Yuki's arm. "Getting hit by a car doesn't mean she's fine." _I should have walked her home when Yuki didn't._

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_Yuki … why must you blame yourself?_

_Accidents happen. I was just unfortunate to be in one of them. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't the driver's fault. It was my fault. I should have looked where I was going. I was in such a rush to get home I didn't see the lights change. Yes, if I were walking with you I would've stopped. But what's done is done. I cannot alter it._

_Please pull yourself away from this state Yuki. It pains me to see you like this. Kyo feels that blaming it on you will take the suffering from his own heart. You both need to find solid ground. You need each other more than you know. Together, you can reach a compromise._

_Do not let my death get in the way of your lives. I am here for you both. But soon, you will have to survive on your own._

_Suddenly Kyo starts to fade in front of my very eyes. In a panic I reach out to him, only to have the invisible force stop me._

_Please! I need to touch him! He needs to know!_

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Kyo felt a feather-like touch on his shoulder, but when he turned to look the only thing he saw were the trees. Yuki turned also, like he too had sensed something.

"Did you feel that?"

Yuki waited a moment before turning away. "No. It was just the wind."

"Yuki. I didn't mean …"

"I know."

Kyo sighed. "What will we do? When we go back home?"

Yuki shrugged. "Carry on as normal, I guess. I mean … there's no point taking any more time off school. It's not going to change anything. I'm sure the other students will leave us well alone now."

"Somehow, I doubt that'll make me feel any better. Maybe we should quit school."

Yuki turned to face him. "Do you really think that'll make a difference?"

"No."

"Tohru carried on with school even after her mother died. We should follow her footsteps and do the same thing. She wouldn't want us to just give up."

Kyo started to walk back toward the path. "Wouldn't you make the perfect counsellor?"

Yuki smiled for the first time in two months. "Did it work?"

"Ask me again when we go back to school."

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_I can't believe it._

_They actually had a proper conversation. A short one; perhaps, but nonetheless they spoke to one another without yelling. I know my death was the reason for this. It doesn't matter though. The reason isn't important. I've witnessed something that no other person in the Sohma family will._

_That night I visited Yuki again. For the first time in ages he slept peacefully. His cheeks were streaked with tears as before, but this time his eyes were closed, his beautiful feminine lashes caressing his face. I moved across to Kyo's room also, watching his steady breathing._

_Each Sohma boy had found peace. I wished them the best of dreams, so they could no longer be haunted by nightmares of my death._

_Before I could go, I had one more Sohma to see._

_I entered Shigure's room._

_I stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame as he read his book. The candle next to his bed flickered, and the pages of his book started to move. I waited patiently for him to look up, and when he did, he smiled that beautiful smile of his._

_"Tohru."_

_I smiled back. "Shigure. I'm leaving now."_

_I saw the tears glistening in his eyes, but they never fell. "Where?"_

_"Home."_

_Shigure knew all along that my spirit had never left the Sohmas. I was the one that pleaded him to go to the lake. He never knew it was me, but he guessed. I visited him countless of nights, hoping that he'd hear me. Somehow he had. I'll never figure out how, but I am so, so truly grateful._

_"Thank you, Shigure."_

_My soul feels lifted._

_I can finally release myself._

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**End**

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**Author's note:** This story has been written following either the manga or the anime. Whichever you choose to follow is entirely your decision. No spoilers have been included in this fic.


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